1 00:00:02,236 --> 00:00:06,671 Look, I'm gonna be 16 In five days, 2 00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:10,609 And, well, it's time to make Some changes in my life. 3 00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:14,813 Every year I have a party and I invite the same two people, 4 00:00:14,881 --> 00:00:16,148 Lily and sam. 5 00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:18,483 And it's great. We hang out alone. 6 00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:21,520 But, um... 7 00:00:21,589 --> 00:00:24,356 Well, I just think It's time that I... 8 00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:26,591 Expand my social circle 9 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,794 And... My horizons. 10 00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:32,631 From now on, I am identifying my goals, 11 00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,633 And I am going after them. 12 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,936 I'm gonna get On that cheerleading squad, 13 00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:39,804 No matter what it takes. 14 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,274 And then I'll have... 15 00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:44,309 Well, a real boyfriend. 16 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,644 Get married. 17 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:50,582 Have 2.5 kids And a fully loaded minivan. 18 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:56,188 I'm getting rid Of everything that has Brought me down, big-time. 19 00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:58,190 Starting with you. 20 00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:03,428 You tempt me, and then... 21 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,397 I give in. 22 00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:07,666 And then I hate myself. 23 00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:11,202 Oh, god. 24 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,673 You're so seductive. 25 00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,544 Okay. 26 00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:22,181 One more quickie, 27 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,483 And then we're over. 28 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:26,618 Forever. 29 00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:41,466 "Hope you can make it." 30 00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:46,505 Oh, look, Friday night at carmen's. 31 00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:47,706 It... 32 00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:51,443 Well, it was sweet Of her to ask us. 33 00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:52,978 Can you imagine the guest list? 34 00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,246 It's like being invited To the jerry lewis telethon. 35 00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:56,815 "B.Y.O.B." 36 00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:58,317 They can have booze? 37 00:01:58,385 --> 00:02:00,819 That means bag. See? Bring your own sleeping bag. 38 00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:03,489 To put over your head in case Anyone sees your social shame. 39 00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:06,125 Aren't we a little old For slumber parties anyway? 40 00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:09,695 Gosh, the last time I had one, I must've been ten or something. 41 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,268 Well, harrison, seems there's A party friday you can crash. 42 00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:18,102 It's a slumber party. 43 00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:20,339 And this may come As a surprise to you, sam, 44 00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:22,807 But I am actually Of a different gender. 45 00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:23,909 Hey. 46 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,712 I'm just tired Of being the friend. 47 00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:29,448 You know? Okay, yeah. 48 00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:32,484 Um, 911? I have several E! Fashion emergencies To report 49 00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:34,853 At the home Of carmen ferrara. 50 00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:37,022 It's a waste Of a quarter! 51 00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:40,158 Hi, carmen. 52 00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:43,829 Carmen, They're laughing at you. What possessed you? 53 00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:46,197 I don't know, carm. This party has some Serious carrie potential. 54 00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:47,999 Aren't we enough? Why invite them? 55 00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:50,402 When we were little, We invited everyone. 56 00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:53,004 When we were little, We used to eat play-doh. 57 00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:55,173 Okay. Look, Here's the deal. 58 00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:57,075 I know that they're Probably not gonna come. 59 00:02:57,143 --> 00:03:00,912 And I know they're Probably making fun of me For inviting them, but.. 60 00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:02,481 But what? 61 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:04,283 Well, what's worse? 62 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:08,052 Hiding away and just Accepting the fact that They think I'm a loser, 63 00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:10,589 Or being strong And fighting back? 64 00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:13,692 Every time they Laugh at me, it hurts. 65 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,461 But I just know that If I keep at it, maybe... 66 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,597 One day they'll come around 67 00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:21,533 And, I don't know, at least Admire me for my guts. 68 00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:25,337 Just think of it Like... A sorority. 69 00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:28,707 There's pledge week, And if you make it Through that first week, 70 00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:30,742 Then you've Paid your dues. 71 00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:33,111 You've passed The ultimate test. 72 00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:36,515 So I just have to make it Through my hell week. 73 00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:38,783 Hell year. Hell decade. 74 00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:40,519 I'm not a quitter. 75 00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:42,754 And I'm not gonna be Someone who gives up 76 00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:45,056 Just because they don't Make it the first time. 77 00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:47,726 That makes me as pathetic As they think I am. 78 00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:51,095 Excuse me. 79 00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:52,931 This is her birthday party. 80 00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:57,068 It shouldn't be about Making her mom or brooke And her friends happy. 81 00:03:57,137 --> 00:04:00,572 No offense, sammie, But it shouldn't be about Making you happy, either. 82 00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:05,076 Carm's just tired Of always being on The outside looking in. 83 00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:07,612 Believe me, I know the feeling. 84 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,960 ♪ think it over once or twice ♪ 85 00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:24,629 ♪ what lasts the longest in this life ♪ 86 00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:27,932 ♪ character or rock-hard thighs ♪ 87 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:30,369 ♪ in the end do you believe ♪ 88 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,871 ♪ that beauty lies in what you see ♪ 89 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,440 ♪ 'cause if you do then, baby ♪ 90 00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,108 ♪ you've been deceived ♪ 91 00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:39,778 ♪ well, me and b ♪ 92 00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:43,649 ♪ we hate supermodels ♪ 93 00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:53,091 ♪ it's just that I'm tired of being compared ♪ 94 00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,645 Now, I'm not chicken... Oh. When can I see you? 95 00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:16,781 You are seeing me. 96 00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,449 I mean see you, see you. 97 00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,952 I think I'd like to have My own little slumber party. 98 00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,320 How about friday night? 99 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:26,024 How about now? 100 00:05:26,092 --> 00:05:31,495 Well, I've never seen Brooke's eartha kitt Impersonation before. 101 00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:34,333 We devoured the new issue Of seventeen last night. 102 00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:37,836 There was an article that said All you need to make a boy happy 103 00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:42,273 Is aggression and the Perfect shade of plum lip gloss. 104 00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:49,648 Nobody's here, and nurse glass Is giving hearing tests In the cafeteria. 105 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:56,120 What is up with you? Did you watch titanic Again last night? 106 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,623 Now, when can I see you? 107 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,591 Maybe when the girls Go to college. 108 00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:03,327 oh, I can't wait that long. I am obsessed. 109 00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:05,430 why don't we just go park somewhere? 110 00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:07,499 we can do it in the back of a car. 111 00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:10,168 This beats the back of a car, Doesn't it, baby? 112 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:11,936 Mm. Is this okay? 113 00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,404 Mm-hmm. Me being aggressive? 114 00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:14,572 Mm. Mm! 115 00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:16,407 Do you like My plum lip gloss? 116 00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:18,276 It's tasty, like you. 117 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:21,813 Funny. 118 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,147 We never made out... 119 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,849 ...During the day. 120 00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:27,085 Well, there's A big reason for that. 121 00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,320 I'm... I mean It's just, um... 122 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:30,989 it's more romantic at night. 123 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,892 Well, you can delay the wave Of my magic wand all you want, 124 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,727 But know this: You can't... 125 00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:37,696 ...Fight chemistry. 126 00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:38,930 Mm. 127 00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,900 [screaming] 128 00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,402 Here's the deal. 129 00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:46,404 We're making a date, And we're doing it friday night. 130 00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:49,741 it's been a long time since we've been... Sexy together, 131 00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:51,209 and I need it. 132 00:06:51,277 --> 00:06:52,844 You. 133 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,913 [phone beeps] Wait. Somebody's beeping me. 134 00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:57,115 Hang on. Hello? 135 00:06:57,183 --> 00:07:00,785 Mr. Mcqueen, this is Nurse jessie glass calling From the kennedy high clinic. 136 00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,787 Hey, sis, I need a midol. 137 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:05,223 [sniffs] Oh, I smell sex and candy. 138 00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:07,859 Got that right, bob. Top drawer. 139 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,294 Hm. 140 00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:12,897 Mr. Mcqueen, just thought You should know 141 00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:15,133 I stumbled upon brooke And josh ford 142 00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:17,802 In a cubicle making the best Of their teen saliva. 143 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:20,504 put brooke on the phone. 144 00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:24,542 It's for you. 145 00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:30,615 Daddy? 146 00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:32,016 [bell rings] 147 00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:33,384 Coitus? Interruptus. 148 00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:35,420 We got busted by nurse glass. 149 00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:37,055 She called my dad. 150 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:40,825 So, for punishment, Josh and I have to do The romeo and juliet thing. 151 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:43,495 A week of balcony, no climb. 152 00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,530 Oh. Oh, god, it sucks. 153 00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:48,733 Oh, my god. 154 00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,068 What? 155 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,737 James dean fantasy, Ten o'clock. 156 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,639 Hi, I'm nicole. 157 00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:57,608 This is brooke. She's got a boyfriend. 158 00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,477 Hi. Leo. 159 00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:02,814 Oh, my god. What a coincidence. I'm a leo. 160 00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:04,816 Really? Hey, sorry I'm late. 161 00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,317 Hey, carmen. Hi. 162 00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:08,519 Whatever. It's not like We're waiting for you. 163 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:09,821 I was. 164 00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,791 This is my big brother, leo. 165 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,698 Oh, hey, hey, carmen! 166 00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:22,634 I am so loving Your hello kitty purse. 167 00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,035 Really? 168 00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:25,770 Oh, yeah. 169 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,238 Thanks. 170 00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:30,341 You girls coming to Carmen's party on friday? 171 00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:32,476 You only turn 16 once. 172 00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,681 Bye. 173 00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,353 Did you hear the father Of my future spawn 174 00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:44,856 Majorly hinting To meet him at the party? 175 00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:47,458 We're going to carmen's? 176 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,661 Brooke and josh, hello. 177 00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:52,563 Balcony, with climb. Thank you. 178 00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:02,607 I bet you'd come if Brooke mcqueen were coming. 179 00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,509 I am so over Brooke mcqueen. 180 00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:08,547 Why would I come? I've already seen you And carmen in your pajamas. 181 00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:09,748 When? 182 00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:12,383 He used to come over Whenever sam slept over. 183 00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:14,552 My mission, If I chose to accept it, 184 00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:17,422 Was to try and sneak in Without setting off the alarm. 185 00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,558 Sorry, girls, I've grown up. 186 00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:22,661 Carm, my boss from hell Put me on the schedule Friday night. 187 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,563 Lily, you said you Were gonna ask off. 188 00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:29,701 I did, but julio Got hepatitis, So now I have to... 189 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:32,737 Remind me to never eat At that particular mr. Cluck's. 190 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:35,506 It's okay, 'cause it'll probably Be just the three of us anyway. 191 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,842 So why don't I move it To next weekend? 192 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,210 Really? Yeah. 193 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,545 That would be So excellent. Yeah. 194 00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,429 Hi, harrison. Hey, brooke. 195 00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:00,764 How's it going? It's cool. 196 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:03,367 Carmen, about your party... 197 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:07,071 Yeah, it's okay. I figured You guys would be busy. 198 00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,740 We've managed To clear our schedules. 199 00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:12,743 Wow, did satan Find somebody else to guard The gates of hades that night? 200 00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:14,045 Sam. 201 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:17,281 Actually, spam, we got confused. 202 00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:20,384 Um, the new gwyneth movie Opens two weekends from now. 203 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:21,953 So, knock-knock. 204 00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:23,622 Who's there? 205 00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:24,923 We are, friday night. 206 00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:28,893 I'll see ya. 207 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,394 Come on, girls. 208 00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:38,737 Um, you know what? 209 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,472 I probably should keep The party this friday, 210 00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:46,110 Because my mom's Been planning on it, And she made decorations. 211 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:48,746 Okay. 212 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,954 And so, hell week begins. 213 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,029 [bell rings] 214 00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:08,599 They're up to something, I know it, and it's up to us To watch carmen's back. 215 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,634 No, it's up to you To watch her back. 216 00:11:10,703 --> 00:11:12,703 I'll be watching The damn chickens. 217 00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:15,039 I think they're doing this To get back at me. 218 00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:17,542 I am linked to brooke mcqueen Now for the time being. 219 00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,477 For the time being? 220 00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:23,481 Aren't your parents Knocking boots and settling in For the long haul? 221 00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:26,684 I have not seen any Concrete evidence of that. 222 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:30,521 Look, I can handle Mean mcqueen and her posse, 223 00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:32,557 But carmen's different. 224 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,625 I don't want her To get hurt. 225 00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:37,062 Yeah, but you're Feeling hurt, aren't you? 226 00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,530 I mean, come on, sammie. 227 00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:42,734 It stings that carmen Chose the cheerleaders over us. 228 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:46,204 That harrison Is working through His brooke mcqueen obsession, 229 00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:50,574 And maybe he's not being As attentive to you As he used to be. 230 00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:55,679 And the worst betrayal of all, Your mom is swapping love With brooke's dad. 231 00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:58,883 It's been A rough semester so far. 232 00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,952 Oh, I don't know, lil. 233 00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:05,423 It's just you'd think They'd have some loyalty 234 00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:08,326 Toward those who love 'em Just the way they are. 235 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,262 And even though I think Carmen's gone off the deep end, 236 00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:14,732 We cannot let them go After her just for sport. 237 00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:16,200 I know. 238 00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:18,069 And of course, Irony of ironies, 239 00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:21,305 There's only one person Powerful enough to keep that From happening. 240 00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:24,775 So, I'm gonna leave The window open to my bedroom At carmen's house. 241 00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:29,413 Nicole's gonna make sure I get a room that's... Man-accessible. 242 00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,449 So long as I'm the man. 243 00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:33,517 You're the man, baby. 244 00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:40,058 What? 245 00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:42,460 You know, it's just That you don't have to 246 00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:44,963 Wear any kind of Special makeup for me. 247 00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:48,933 I actually love you The best when you're Scrubbed and natural. 248 00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,660 It's interesting, isn't it? 249 00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:19,163 Guys say, don't wear Very much makeup, 250 00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:21,699 And then the magazines Say, no, you need it, 251 00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:24,502 Because without it you just Look mousy and plain. 252 00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:29,573 A girl can get pulled In a lot of different Directions these days, huh? 253 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,776 So many evil plots to plan, So little time. 254 00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:41,185 Wow. Even nominal chitchat With you just goes straight To the gutter level, doesn't it? 255 00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:43,187 Why do I even try? 256 00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:47,125 Don't go to carmen's party, Brooke. Please. 257 00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:50,027 Sam... 258 00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:51,995 I actually like carmen. I mean, she's... 259 00:13:52,064 --> 00:13:53,997 Disposable? 260 00:13:54,066 --> 00:13:56,134 What? Finish your sentence. 261 00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:02,873 Would you rather us hurt Her feelings by just Declining the invitation? 262 00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:05,343 Somehow, I don't think This is about carmen's feelings. 263 00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:08,779 Carmen thinks perseverance Will get you to accept her, But I don't think so. 264 00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:10,982 I think you're gonna Try to destroy her, 265 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:12,817 Or rather, Let nicole do it for you, 266 00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:15,186 And this time I will not Let you get away with that. 267 00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:17,355 I wouldn't do that. 268 00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:18,990 And you know what? 269 00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:21,559 I can see why carmen's Casting around for new friends 270 00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:25,529 When the ones she has Are trying to get people To blow off her party. 271 00:14:31,938 --> 00:14:33,471 oh, come on, bob. 272 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:37,141 It'll be fun, Having our own little Slumber party. 273 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,542 It'll be a gas. 274 00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:41,011 We'll pop popcorn, Watch who's that girl? 275 00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:43,982 Of all the sisters In the world, I had to get a girl. 276 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,984 Ugh! 277 00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:51,089 Uh, nic, you guys aren't Planning on doing anything Mean with carmen, are you? 278 00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:54,592 I just want to make it clear, Because this is her house, And we need to be nice. 279 00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:57,428 Maybe we could freeze her bra, Or put nair in the shampoo. 280 00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,530 I mean, anything to Keep our hand in. 281 00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:03,934 No. Nicole, I don't want to Be the person sam mcpherson Thinks I am. 282 00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:06,904 I... I'm not That person, okay? 283 00:15:06,972 --> 00:15:11,375 So we are not doing Anything even remotely heinous Or mean at this party. 284 00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:12,943 You got it? 285 00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:15,613 Okay, hon. I mean, If you're laying down the law, 286 00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:18,383 Of course I'll be nice As pie to the birthday girl. 287 00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:19,984 Thank you. 288 00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:22,853 I mean, I wouldn't even Dream of taking any more Advantage of carmen 289 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:26,057 Than you are by going To her party just 'cause You want to be with josh. 290 00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:32,029 Carm, I don't want you To get your hopes up. 291 00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,465 Can we not even make A simple party list here 292 00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,734 Without you being down On everything? 293 00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:40,738 They are coming, sam, And they have been Nothing but nice to me. 294 00:15:40,806 --> 00:15:43,908 And I don't know why you can't Admit that you're wrong. 295 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:53,617 [no audible dialogue] 296 00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,832 Sit down, hon. 297 00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:11,369 We've got a lot To get through. 298 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:17,508 A list of our needs, Vis-a-vis the optimal Slumber party experience. 299 00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:21,412 Okay, got it. 300 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:25,015 okay, carmen, they have let you in the sorority front door. 301 00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:28,652 this is the rushing part. don't blow it, girlfriend. 302 00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:31,122 what do they talk about during rush? 303 00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,557 oh, yeah, of course. 304 00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:38,028 Hey, wasn't gwyneth So great in sliding doors? 305 00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:40,631 Yeah, okay. See, carmen, hon, 306 00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,266 That was two years ago. 307 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,602 I think somebody needs To put their lunch money 308 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,371 Towards a subscription To in style magazine. 309 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,208 Right. I will get right On that, mary cherry. 310 00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:53,378 We assume that cute brother Will be there friday night. 311 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:56,146 Has our leo Found love yet? 312 00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:57,915 Oh, well, not really. 313 00:16:57,983 --> 00:17:01,152 I mean, he kind of Has his endless supply Of crunchy girlfriends. 314 00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:04,589 You know, birkenstocks And underarm hair. 315 00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:07,658 But... [bell dings] 316 00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:11,962 Oh, you can get them By the box. 317 00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:14,332 It's like getting A whole one. 318 00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:16,334 If you could note Number 11, 319 00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:18,669 Very importante. 320 00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:32,916 My god. You just sunk A three-pointer there. Yeah. 321 00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:35,186 I've been told I have good hands. 322 00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,455 You know what? You're like a super hero. 323 00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:39,490 Whenever I need you, There you are. 324 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:43,761 Cafeteria man. Able to Retrieve and recycle In a single bound. 325 00:17:43,829 --> 00:17:45,996 Hey, do you know What's funny? 326 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,799 I was thinking about Something last night. 327 00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:52,670 Do you remember when you were My slumber party sentry? 328 00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:57,542 You want me to get you A coke, harrison? For the caffeine. Over. 329 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,777 I won't fall asleep, Brooke. Over. 330 00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:01,945 I don't want those creeps Peeking in the windows 331 00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:04,582 Thinking back at school that They saw our training bras. Over. 332 00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:06,016 I won't let 'em. 333 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,719 I'll beat 'em up If they try. Ten-four. 334 00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:11,288 Remember, keep the boys out. 335 00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:12,557 Over. 336 00:18:15,294 --> 00:18:18,862 Hey, no one got a glimpse Of panties on my watch. 337 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,265 Yeah. Are you going To carmen's party? 338 00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:25,403 I don't know, brooke. I'm a busy guy. 339 00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:27,938 Yeah, but if you're not there, It just won't be the same. 340 00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:29,707 Is that right? 341 00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:31,275 Absolutely. 342 00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:34,011 Harrison, I mean, What if the boys come? 343 00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:37,881 Right. 344 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,650 I'll talk to you later. 345 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:40,951 See ya. 346 00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:52,897 So, at lunch, what were You and the cheerleaders Talking about? 347 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,599 Mm, gwyneth, Ricky martin, stds. 348 00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:58,602 Putting in your dues isn't As bad as I thought it would be. 349 00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:02,005 Oh, will you remind me That when we go shopping, I've got to get tab? 350 00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:03,974 Tab? I hate Diet drinks. 351 00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:05,776 Then don't drink it. 352 00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:09,112 I've also got to get A couple bottles of Ipecac, whatever that is. 353 00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:12,116 That's the stuff You give babies To make them throw up. 354 00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:13,417 Really? 355 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,753 'cause that's all Mary cherry says she drinks. 356 00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:20,458 Sheets? You're buying them 400-count sheets? 357 00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:23,961 Yeah, 'cause brooke and nicole Requested beds, and I don't mind Sleeping on the floor. 358 00:19:24,029 --> 00:19:26,997 This is unbelievable. It's like five minutes With them, 359 00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:29,333 And my best friend Becomes a child of the corn. 360 00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:31,402 Sam, this is what I want. 361 00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,738 Okay? If I can get These girls to like me, 362 00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:36,039 I might actually get On the squad next year. 363 00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:38,142 That's a lofty goal-- Wearing a little skirt 364 00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:40,311 And a dopey smile and Completely changing your life? 365 00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:43,113 It's absolutely worth Losing a best friend over. 366 00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:45,983 Have a great party. 367 00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,186 Sam! 368 00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,863 Mom, would you stop, please? 369 00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:03,534 You're just like carmen, Whipping yourself all in A frenzy for the wrong reasons. 370 00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:06,970 You shouldn't change Your body for a guy. 371 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,940 [laughs] This isn't for mike. It's for me. 372 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:17,214 Are you up for A movie tonight? 373 00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:19,217 Aren't you going To carmen's party? 374 00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:21,852 No, I don't like The guest list. 375 00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:23,453 Oh, sam. 376 00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:25,989 I thought you were gonna Try and be civil to brooke. 377 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,392 You have to remember, She hasn't had it easy. Her mother walked out-- 378 00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:31,695 That was eight years ago, And she's still milking it. Can we please go out? 379 00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:34,798 I just want to Stay home, honey. 380 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:37,768 You know, why is it Whenever there's a conflict Between me and brooke, 381 00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:39,437 You always choose brooke? 382 00:20:39,505 --> 00:20:43,106 Are you trying to earn Points with mike or what? 383 00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:45,109 You know That's not true, sammie. 384 00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:47,745 I got to be honest with you, I'm disappointed in you. 385 00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:49,747 Do you know when I was Most proud of you? 386 00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:52,182 When you were in kindergarten, And you'd bring home Your report cards, 387 00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:54,317 And they'd say, "Plays well with others." 388 00:20:54,386 --> 00:20:56,620 You wouldn't get that grade now. You'd flunk that course. 389 00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:58,188 So would your darling brooke. 390 00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:00,424 It seems to me She's going to the party. 391 00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:01,959 She's making an effort. 392 00:21:02,027 --> 00:21:04,795 She's going there To be mean to carmen, To hurt her. 393 00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:08,098 Nicole will do the dirty work, And brooke will stand by Like she always does, 394 00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:10,300 Spineless and yet Perfectly preserved. 395 00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:13,271 I don't think brooke would Let somebody do something Intentionally cruel. 396 00:21:13,339 --> 00:21:16,474 Okay, mom, you know what? I'll go to the party. 397 00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:19,710 And when I come home, You and I can bond over The atrocities 398 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:22,713 I'm sure her And her ladies-in-waiting Are going to commit tonight. 399 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:26,617 Maybe then with proof, You'll start siding With the right person. 400 00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:31,288 [doorbell rings] 401 00:21:40,566 --> 00:21:43,400 [all] Hi, carm! Hi. Come on in. 402 00:21:46,205 --> 00:21:47,571 Happy birthday. 403 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,939 Thanks, brooke. 404 00:21:49,008 --> 00:21:50,574 Happy birthday! 405 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,543 Oh, hi. 406 00:21:52,612 --> 00:21:54,512 Hi. Happy birthday. Can you take that? 407 00:21:54,580 --> 00:21:55,879 Sure. Thanks, sweetie. 408 00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:57,280 Okay. 409 00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,317 Carm? 410 00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:04,121 Hey. 411 00:22:05,224 --> 00:22:06,490 Hey. 412 00:22:10,195 --> 00:22:11,428 Happy birthday. 413 00:22:24,711 --> 00:22:28,178 maybe my mom's right. maybe I am overreacting. 414 00:22:28,247 --> 00:22:34,151 brooke has been nice, and she's not taking advantage of carmen at all. 415 00:22:34,219 --> 00:22:37,187 why is it I'm here in a room full of people 416 00:22:37,256 --> 00:22:40,257 and yet I've never felt more alone? 417 00:22:40,325 --> 00:22:43,861 [brooke] Nicole's right. I'm a hypocrite. 418 00:22:43,929 --> 00:22:47,365 I'm here taking advantage of carmen. 419 00:22:47,433 --> 00:22:49,734 but everybody's on their best behavior, 420 00:22:49,802 --> 00:22:53,436 and maybe it's not so bad coming here and giving carmen what she wanted. 421 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,174 I wish my breasts bounced. 422 00:22:57,242 --> 00:23:01,011 [carmen] My god, brooke is so perfect and so super-skinny. 423 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,348 note to self: no birthday cake. 424 00:23:08,854 --> 00:23:10,721 [harrison] I hope carmen's right. 425 00:23:10,790 --> 00:23:12,356 gotta keep paying your dues. 426 00:23:16,796 --> 00:23:19,396 [giggles] 427 00:23:19,464 --> 00:23:21,599 My god, penis pasta. 428 00:23:22,702 --> 00:23:24,702 Yeah, you have to Eat it al dente. 429 00:23:25,871 --> 00:23:27,170 Ew. 430 00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:29,673 So, do you want to hear A song I wrote? 431 00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:32,209 It's called "Decapitated rat." okay. 432 00:23:34,046 --> 00:23:35,312 ♪ I'm a prize ♪ 433 00:23:35,380 --> 00:23:39,216 ♪ drug in by the cat Like a mouse or a bird ♪ 434 00:23:39,284 --> 00:23:41,485 ♪ or a decapitated rat... ♪ Yeah, okay, hon. 435 00:23:41,554 --> 00:23:43,787 You're a good fiddle player. We get it. Thanks. 436 00:23:45,157 --> 00:23:46,757 You forgot a gift. 437 00:23:46,826 --> 00:23:48,459 Oh. 438 00:23:54,667 --> 00:23:56,166 It's a poem. 439 00:23:59,004 --> 00:24:00,938 Aw. 440 00:24:01,006 --> 00:24:04,207 "On the occasion of Your sixteenth birthday." 441 00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:08,145 Sam, when you graduate, You could totally get A job at hallmark. 442 00:24:11,183 --> 00:24:12,783 She so could. 443 00:24:12,852 --> 00:24:14,718 She has a poem For, like, every occasion. 444 00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:16,754 When we were 13, She wrote me a poem called, 445 00:24:16,823 --> 00:24:18,622 "On the occasion Of your first period." 446 00:24:18,691 --> 00:24:20,724 [all] Ew! 447 00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:22,926 [all laughing] 448 00:24:22,995 --> 00:24:24,462 Wait, sam, Where you going... 449 00:24:24,530 --> 00:24:25,528 Come back. I was kidding. 450 00:24:25,598 --> 00:24:26,596 Where's she going? 451 00:24:26,666 --> 00:24:28,431 She's gonna miss the makeovers, 452 00:24:28,501 --> 00:24:29,933 And she needs one. 453 00:24:31,036 --> 00:24:32,870 Oh, I'll go get her. 454 00:24:34,406 --> 00:24:36,506 Thank you. 455 00:24:39,711 --> 00:24:42,245 Thanks, you guys. This stuff is great. 456 00:24:57,697 --> 00:25:00,197 intruder. Intruder. Intruder. 457 00:25:00,266 --> 00:25:01,398 intruder. 458 00:25:04,737 --> 00:25:06,369 [hits bad note] 459 00:25:10,275 --> 00:25:12,275 Oh... Oh, hi. 460 00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:13,611 Leo. 461 00:25:13,679 --> 00:25:16,013 Hi. Right, hi. 462 00:25:16,081 --> 00:25:21,318 Oh, wow. I was just looking for The little girl's room, but... 463 00:25:22,989 --> 00:25:27,190 Oh. I love a good bean bag. 464 00:25:27,259 --> 00:25:28,591 Oh. 465 00:25:41,140 --> 00:25:42,673 Yo, scrub! 466 00:25:42,742 --> 00:25:44,942 What do you think You're doing here? 467 00:25:45,010 --> 00:25:46,677 The mans are here! 468 00:25:46,746 --> 00:25:49,713 The official players' Panty raid! 469 00:25:49,782 --> 00:25:53,016 So why don't you take your Perverted peeping little self 470 00:25:53,085 --> 00:25:54,552 And run along home? 471 00:25:54,620 --> 00:25:56,587 You got a lot of bravado, Sugar daddy, 472 00:25:56,656 --> 00:25:59,990 For a guy who's still playing Bench on the pee-wee leagues. 473 00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:01,992 Yo. Hey, you get around To first base, yo! 474 00:26:02,061 --> 00:26:04,361 And the season's coming To a close. Word! 475 00:26:04,429 --> 00:26:06,263 Whoa, sugar. 476 00:26:06,332 --> 00:26:08,666 Who you here for, Harrison? Mcpherson? 477 00:26:08,734 --> 00:26:11,001 I don't think that's Any of your business, ford. 478 00:26:11,070 --> 00:26:13,837 Do you have a room Ready and waiting? 479 00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:16,806 'cause my girl booked me A suite in this here Love motel. 480 00:26:16,876 --> 00:26:18,641 So it's time for me To go see my baby. 481 00:26:18,710 --> 00:26:20,811 Yeah, good luck. 482 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:22,713 What's that supposed to mean? 483 00:26:22,782 --> 00:26:25,182 [cell phone rings] 484 00:26:27,153 --> 00:26:28,686 Hello? hey. 485 00:26:28,754 --> 00:26:30,320 Look up. Where? 486 00:26:31,557 --> 00:26:32,522 Hey, babe! 487 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,426 There's an alarm. How we gonna crack it? 488 00:26:36,495 --> 00:26:38,062 Let me talk to harrison. 489 00:26:38,130 --> 00:26:39,797 She wants to talk To you, harry. 490 00:26:42,634 --> 00:26:45,435 Hey, brooke. hey, harrison. 491 00:26:45,504 --> 00:26:48,438 Um, could you be my knight In shining armor again? 492 00:26:48,507 --> 00:26:50,507 there's an alarm. Um... 493 00:26:53,412 --> 00:26:56,079 Sure. Yeah, I know the code. 494 00:26:56,148 --> 00:26:58,716 If I can help you guys out, Hey, I'm there. 495 00:26:58,784 --> 00:27:04,421 It's 1954, and the panel you Punch it into is by the door. 496 00:27:04,489 --> 00:27:06,023 Okay. Hold on. 497 00:27:08,828 --> 00:27:10,093 Thanks. 498 00:27:17,136 --> 00:27:19,236 [giggles] 499 00:27:19,304 --> 00:27:22,640 Romeo, romeo, Wherefore art thou, romeo? 500 00:27:22,708 --> 00:27:24,374 Coming! 501 00:27:26,779 --> 00:27:28,912 It's rough, huh, scrub? 502 00:27:30,449 --> 00:27:33,917 Girls who look like brooke Go for guys who are like josh. 503 00:27:33,986 --> 00:27:35,418 We ain't got a chance. 504 00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:36,854 Come on. 505 00:27:40,559 --> 00:27:43,493 Oh, I would have given anything To be at the real woodstock, 506 00:27:43,562 --> 00:27:48,565 Where it was just peace And love and, oh, the music. 507 00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:51,301 Sammie? 508 00:27:52,972 --> 00:27:55,038 Leo? I didn't know You were home. 509 00:27:56,141 --> 00:27:58,408 Look at you. All grown up. 510 00:27:58,477 --> 00:28:01,044 You're a babe. 511 00:28:02,481 --> 00:28:05,148 So, how's life At the daily planet? 512 00:28:05,217 --> 00:28:07,617 Did you close down Any toxic waste dumps lately? 513 00:28:07,687 --> 00:28:09,419 I'm trying. 514 00:28:11,323 --> 00:28:13,857 Well, as a former Football player, 515 00:28:13,926 --> 00:28:16,293 I'm sure you'll be Dismayed to hear, leo, 516 00:28:16,361 --> 00:28:20,163 That she tried her best To close down The cheerleading squad. 517 00:28:20,232 --> 00:28:22,532 Oh! Is that right? 518 00:28:22,601 --> 00:28:23,967 [nicole] Oh. 519 00:28:24,036 --> 00:28:25,703 You go, girl. 520 00:28:25,771 --> 00:28:28,638 I mean, women are actually Playing sports now. 521 00:28:28,707 --> 00:28:32,309 There's no reason for them To be freezing their asses off In those little miniskirts. 522 00:28:32,377 --> 00:28:33,643 Yeah, I agree. 523 00:28:33,713 --> 00:28:36,179 Nic, I don't mean To embarrass you, 524 00:28:36,248 --> 00:28:38,481 But it must be getting Close to midnight. 525 00:28:38,550 --> 00:28:40,850 You're starting to spread hair In strange places. 526 00:28:43,522 --> 00:28:45,956 Good. I'm glad You like my costume. 527 00:28:46,025 --> 00:28:47,958 It's an homage To your friends. 528 00:28:48,027 --> 00:28:50,494 I like to call it, "Loser hippy chick." 529 00:28:53,465 --> 00:28:54,564 [laughs] 530 00:28:54,633 --> 00:28:56,466 What the hell was that? 531 00:28:56,535 --> 00:28:58,168 Don't ask. Just... 532 00:29:15,454 --> 00:29:17,387 Time for the party games. 533 00:29:22,361 --> 00:29:24,461 I'd like to thank The academy, 534 00:29:24,529 --> 00:29:26,396 My hair colorist, 535 00:29:26,465 --> 00:29:29,732 And of course brad pitt, Ben affleck, 536 00:29:29,801 --> 00:29:32,202 And all my other beaus Whose fame and fortune 537 00:29:32,271 --> 00:29:33,837 I've now eclipsed. 538 00:29:33,906 --> 00:29:38,975 Gwyneth, when I snap my fingers, You will awake. 539 00:29:40,980 --> 00:29:42,012 Ooh. 540 00:29:42,081 --> 00:29:44,448 Oh! Oh, my god! 541 00:29:44,516 --> 00:29:47,584 She just hypnotized you Into thinking you were Gwyneth paltrow. 542 00:29:47,653 --> 00:29:50,187 Take me back there. I want to go back. 543 00:29:50,255 --> 00:29:52,122 Mary cherry, You've had your turn. 544 00:29:52,191 --> 00:29:53,356 Who's next? 545 00:30:36,468 --> 00:30:38,735 I love slumber parties. 546 00:30:44,143 --> 00:30:47,610 So that's it? You dropped out After three years of college 547 00:30:47,679 --> 00:30:49,946 And snowboarded Around europe? Yep. 548 00:30:50,014 --> 00:30:53,516 But you did everything In high school. 549 00:30:53,585 --> 00:30:55,152 You were a legend. 550 00:30:55,220 --> 00:30:57,020 I thought you'd be A big deal by now. 551 00:30:57,089 --> 00:30:59,689 Yeah, well, You and me both, sam. 552 00:30:59,758 --> 00:31:01,191 What happened? 553 00:31:01,260 --> 00:31:03,260 Life. 554 00:31:03,329 --> 00:31:06,796 I had a head-on collision With the future. 555 00:31:06,865 --> 00:31:09,599 In high school, It's all about potential. 556 00:31:09,668 --> 00:31:13,337 When it ends, You've got to deliver. 557 00:31:13,405 --> 00:31:17,074 And... I didn't have Any idea how to do that. 558 00:31:19,411 --> 00:31:21,344 So you've moved Back here to... 559 00:31:21,413 --> 00:31:23,947 Try and figure out How to grow up. 560 00:31:24,016 --> 00:31:28,551 I don't want to be One of those guys who Topped out in high school. 561 00:31:28,620 --> 00:31:31,087 You know? Something tells me You won't be. 562 00:31:32,957 --> 00:31:35,858 So, why aren't you At that party having fun? 563 00:31:35,927 --> 00:31:37,494 Oh. 564 00:31:38,997 --> 00:31:41,063 I guess I got My invitation, 565 00:31:41,132 --> 00:31:43,266 But I don't really Feel invited. 566 00:31:44,369 --> 00:31:45,602 Ah. 567 00:31:45,671 --> 00:31:49,372 Brilliant metaphor For life in your early 20s. 568 00:31:49,441 --> 00:31:52,842 But in my case, I got my invitation. 569 00:31:52,912 --> 00:31:55,412 I just neglected To r.S.V.P. 570 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,014 And now I... And now... 571 00:31:58,083 --> 00:32:00,683 You're trying to figure out Some way to crash. 572 00:32:01,887 --> 00:32:03,820 How old are you again? 573 00:32:05,491 --> 00:32:07,157 [horn honks] 574 00:32:07,226 --> 00:32:08,891 That's my ride. 575 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:10,927 I gotta go. 576 00:32:10,995 --> 00:32:12,762 Hot date? 577 00:32:12,831 --> 00:32:17,567 Ah, one of those cheerleaders You mentioned I used to date. 578 00:32:17,636 --> 00:32:20,470 She works at pizza hut now. 579 00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:24,041 Well, hey. 580 00:32:24,109 --> 00:32:29,212 I've got this resume Format builder in my computer. 581 00:32:29,281 --> 00:32:32,449 If you ever need any help Getting back on track, 582 00:32:32,517 --> 00:32:34,517 I'm just a phone call away. 583 00:32:34,586 --> 00:32:36,586 I'll take you up on that. 584 00:32:43,695 --> 00:32:46,363 [clucking] 585 00:32:46,432 --> 00:32:48,966 Chicken, Bring me some chex mix. 586 00:32:49,034 --> 00:32:53,970 [clucking] 587 00:32:54,038 --> 00:32:55,805 That's it. Good job. 588 00:32:55,874 --> 00:32:57,774 [clucks] Very nice. 589 00:32:57,842 --> 00:32:59,942 [mary] She really is hypnotized. 590 00:33:00,011 --> 00:33:01,078 It's magic. 591 00:33:01,146 --> 00:33:02,379 [clucks] Stop it. 592 00:33:03,715 --> 00:33:05,948 Chicken, I said, Bring me some chex mix. 593 00:33:06,017 --> 00:33:08,084 Carm, what's the matter With you? 594 00:33:08,153 --> 00:33:11,788 Carmen's not here. She's been hypnotized. 595 00:33:11,856 --> 00:33:13,423 She's a chicken. 596 00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:15,492 Hey, sam, you want To hear my new poem? 597 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:19,129 "On the occasion Of being a chicken." 598 00:33:19,198 --> 00:33:21,965 [clucking] Great, carm. Real nice. 599 00:33:22,034 --> 00:33:24,234 Stay here and have a blast With your new dumb clucks. 600 00:33:24,303 --> 00:33:25,302 [clucks] 601 00:33:25,370 --> 00:33:26,803 Happy birthday. 602 00:33:26,872 --> 00:33:27,904 [clucks] 603 00:33:29,208 --> 00:33:30,473 You know what? 604 00:33:30,542 --> 00:33:32,909 I think it's time For a midnight snack. 605 00:33:32,977 --> 00:33:34,911 Of chicken! 606 00:33:34,979 --> 00:33:37,246 [laughing] 607 00:33:37,316 --> 00:33:38,981 [clucking] 608 00:33:40,552 --> 00:33:43,620 I've lost all sensation In my lips. 609 00:33:48,393 --> 00:33:50,960 [knocking] 610 00:33:51,029 --> 00:33:52,929 Oh, god, carmen's mom. 611 00:33:52,997 --> 00:33:55,365 This is her room, isn't it? 612 00:33:55,434 --> 00:33:57,033 [knocking] 613 00:33:57,102 --> 00:33:58,968 [whispering] 614 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:03,573 [knocking] 615 00:34:06,878 --> 00:34:09,513 Sam, what are you doing? 616 00:34:09,581 --> 00:34:13,316 I knew you'd be in here Doing something dirty. 617 00:34:13,385 --> 00:34:16,653 I don't know what You're talking about. I just fell asleep in the bed. 618 00:34:16,721 --> 00:34:19,356 Well, then there's a pretty Aggressive mattress in here 619 00:34:19,424 --> 00:34:21,724 With a predisposition Toward mashing. 620 00:34:21,793 --> 00:34:24,227 Check your smeared lipstick. You look like a hooker. 621 00:34:24,296 --> 00:34:26,796 Don't you have A party to get back to? 622 00:34:26,865 --> 00:34:29,466 Mary cherry's right. With your sour puss, You are in definite need 623 00:34:29,534 --> 00:34:31,568 Of makeover fun and frolic. 624 00:34:31,636 --> 00:34:34,203 I am done with The sadistic reindeer games. 625 00:34:34,273 --> 00:34:38,140 But f.Y.I., if your conscience Calls, maybe you could go Call of your henchwoman. 626 00:34:38,210 --> 00:34:40,743 They're doing exactly What you promised they wouldn't. 627 00:34:40,812 --> 00:34:43,480 They just hypnotized carmen Into thinking she's a chicken. 628 00:34:44,716 --> 00:34:46,115 S-sam... 629 00:34:46,184 --> 00:34:47,717 Look, you're probably Overreacting, okay? 630 00:34:47,786 --> 00:34:51,153 You lied to me in The novak when you told me You liked carmen. 631 00:34:51,223 --> 00:34:55,024 You don't. She's just another Person you can walk all over To get your way. 632 00:34:55,094 --> 00:34:57,994 She chose you, brooke. God, just like my mother does. 633 00:34:58,062 --> 00:35:01,231 Why are people blinded by you? Why am I the only one Who sees through you? 634 00:35:01,300 --> 00:35:03,600 I didn't lie about carmen. Okay? I like her. 635 00:35:03,668 --> 00:35:04,967 Yeah. 636 00:35:05,036 --> 00:35:07,204 You're just a paragon Of truth, aren't you? 637 00:35:07,272 --> 00:35:09,572 You want to look me In the face 638 00:35:09,641 --> 00:35:12,809 And tell me you don't have your Boyfriend stashed in the closet? 639 00:35:12,877 --> 00:35:14,010 Hi, sam. 640 00:35:15,314 --> 00:35:17,714 I'll leave you lovebirds To your nesting. 641 00:35:22,788 --> 00:35:26,088 So, did you tell carmen You were coming here For a party? 642 00:35:26,157 --> 00:35:27,591 Brooke? 643 00:35:27,659 --> 00:35:31,261 Did she think You want to be her friend? 644 00:35:31,330 --> 00:35:32,595 Mm-hmm. 645 00:35:34,032 --> 00:35:36,966 Suddenly, I don't feel All that sexy anymore. 646 00:35:44,876 --> 00:35:46,208 Great. 647 00:35:46,277 --> 00:35:49,279 Okay, chicken, You know the plan. 648 00:35:49,348 --> 00:35:52,214 Here's your chicken money... Bok. 649 00:35:52,284 --> 00:35:55,685 Chicken, to buy yourself A big old bucket Of your brethren. 650 00:35:58,123 --> 00:36:00,457 Bok. Bok. 651 00:36:04,296 --> 00:36:06,062 Bok. 652 00:36:06,130 --> 00:36:07,497 [clucking] 653 00:36:07,566 --> 00:36:10,032 Okay, now why isn't Mary cherry in? 654 00:36:10,101 --> 00:36:12,535 She said fast-food joints Breed e coli poisoning. 655 00:36:12,604 --> 00:36:15,605 She's too much of a lady To get the lady diarrheas. [horn honking] 656 00:36:30,054 --> 00:36:31,821 Josh is gone. 657 00:36:32,924 --> 00:36:34,257 Yeah. 658 00:36:37,696 --> 00:36:39,662 Him and everybody else. 659 00:36:39,731 --> 00:36:42,364 I suppose this is the part where I come to your rescue again. 660 00:36:42,434 --> 00:36:45,101 I'm not doing that Anymore, brooke. 661 00:36:46,237 --> 00:36:48,371 I'm not gonna be your lookout... 662 00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,573 And I'm not driving you home. 663 00:36:53,011 --> 00:36:56,278 Call nicole on her cell phone. She'll come pick you up. 664 00:36:56,348 --> 00:37:00,383 You can join her And carmen down at mr. Cluck's For a nice girls' night out. 665 00:37:00,452 --> 00:37:01,985 I'm done with this! 666 00:37:02,053 --> 00:37:03,720 Harrison, you have to Take me to them. 667 00:37:03,788 --> 00:37:06,723 I can't anymore, brooke. I won't. 668 00:37:06,791 --> 00:37:10,727 No, please, harrison. This time it's not for me. 669 00:37:10,795 --> 00:37:12,428 Please. 670 00:37:23,608 --> 00:37:25,508 [giggling] 671 00:37:29,047 --> 00:37:30,714 [man giggling] 672 00:37:30,782 --> 00:37:32,649 [woman laughing] 673 00:37:35,820 --> 00:37:38,455 I can't believe We did it on the kitchen floor. 674 00:37:38,523 --> 00:37:40,890 I can't believe You don't like your body. 675 00:37:40,959 --> 00:37:43,325 Oh, I have a mommy tummy. I think it's adorable. 676 00:37:43,394 --> 00:37:46,596 No, I just, um... What? 677 00:37:46,665 --> 00:37:48,297 What? 678 00:37:48,367 --> 00:37:51,000 You were married to A homecoming queen before, 679 00:37:51,069 --> 00:37:54,036 And I am a lot of things, But I'm not that. 680 00:37:54,105 --> 00:37:56,373 I will never be that. 681 00:37:56,441 --> 00:38:00,042 And I just want to be... I want to be perfect for you. 682 00:38:00,111 --> 00:38:02,311 Jane. 683 00:38:02,381 --> 00:38:04,514 To me, right now, 684 00:38:05,650 --> 00:38:07,917 From the first moment I saw you, 685 00:38:09,487 --> 00:38:11,554 You are perfect. 686 00:38:14,393 --> 00:38:16,359 You're just perfect. 687 00:38:24,303 --> 00:38:26,303 Carm, hey. 688 00:38:26,371 --> 00:38:28,237 What are you doing here? Why aren't you at the party? 689 00:38:28,307 --> 00:38:29,572 Bok, bok, bucket! 690 00:38:33,044 --> 00:38:34,711 Bok, bok, bucket! 691 00:38:34,779 --> 00:38:36,646 Stop it. 692 00:38:36,715 --> 00:38:38,515 Stop making fun of me. 693 00:38:43,822 --> 00:38:47,056 [carmen] pay your dues, carmen. pay your dues. 694 00:38:50,862 --> 00:38:53,095 At your service. Here you go. 695 00:38:53,164 --> 00:38:55,532 And, um, carm, guess What rhymes with bucket? 696 00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:00,703 Bok, bok, bucket! 697 00:39:00,772 --> 00:39:02,805 [people laughing] 698 00:39:18,957 --> 00:39:20,390 Bok, bok, bucket! 699 00:39:21,225 --> 00:39:23,526 Bok! 700 00:39:23,595 --> 00:39:26,329 Okay, carm, you won. 701 00:39:28,433 --> 00:39:31,468 We played truth or dare At this slumber party. 702 00:39:31,536 --> 00:39:34,003 You did the dare, So I gotta cluck, too. 703 00:39:35,106 --> 00:39:36,773 Bok, bok, bucket! 704 00:39:36,842 --> 00:39:39,275 Bok! 705 00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:44,146 I think you should leave. Now. 706 00:39:45,283 --> 00:39:46,616 Come on, poppy. 707 00:39:46,685 --> 00:39:48,685 Let's blow This chicken stand. 708 00:39:50,956 --> 00:39:53,823 I'm not in the mood For a pity party. 709 00:40:02,934 --> 00:40:04,967 I'm sorry, carmen. 710 00:40:05,036 --> 00:40:06,703 I'm really sorry. 711 00:40:39,003 --> 00:40:41,804 I wasn't making fun Of your job, lily. I really wasn't. 712 00:40:41,873 --> 00:40:45,074 I was just trying To make 'em laugh. You know? 713 00:40:45,143 --> 00:40:48,544 And I did. They laughed their asses off. 714 00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:52,749 Any room for me? 715 00:40:52,817 --> 00:40:54,250 Always. 716 00:40:58,656 --> 00:41:02,559 I was wrong to leave you At the mercy of brooke mcqueen And her posse, carmen. 717 00:41:02,627 --> 00:41:05,027 I'm so sorry. It's okay. 718 00:41:05,096 --> 00:41:08,765 I'm sorry, too. I acted like an idiot. 719 00:41:08,833 --> 00:41:12,902 And you know, Brooke mcqueen turned out To be not so horrible. 720 00:41:12,971 --> 00:41:14,904 She kind of came through In the end. 721 00:41:14,973 --> 00:41:17,740 Great. So what are you saying? I'm wrong twice. 722 00:41:17,809 --> 00:41:19,275 What? 723 00:41:19,343 --> 00:41:20,877 Honey, what's wrong? 724 00:41:20,945 --> 00:41:22,011 What happened? 725 00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:25,047 I went home and... 726 00:41:25,116 --> 00:41:28,017 I saw my mother And mike mcqueen 727 00:41:28,086 --> 00:41:30,820 Doing it full on On the kitchen floor. 728 00:41:30,889 --> 00:41:32,054 Oh, my god. 729 00:41:32,123 --> 00:41:33,055 Oh, my god. 730 00:41:33,124 --> 00:41:35,758 It's real between them, You guys. 731 00:41:35,827 --> 00:41:38,494 It's just hard When you realize 732 00:41:38,563 --> 00:41:42,165 That despite all The stupid pain you endure, 733 00:41:42,233 --> 00:41:45,234 Sometimes even With all that work, 734 00:41:45,303 --> 00:41:47,636 They still choose Somebody else. 735 00:41:50,742 --> 00:41:52,108 Sam? 736 00:41:52,176 --> 00:41:54,977 I feel really bad, sam. 737 00:41:55,046 --> 00:41:58,247 Everybody gave me presents To make me look different 738 00:41:58,316 --> 00:42:00,550 Or make me smell different. 739 00:42:03,021 --> 00:42:05,121 But your poem Was the only thing 740 00:42:05,189 --> 00:42:08,124 That was actually A tribute to who I am. 741 00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:12,128 You're the one who Really came through for me. 742 00:42:16,267 --> 00:42:17,333 Damn. 743 00:42:17,401 --> 00:42:20,236 You know what really gets me? 744 00:42:21,673 --> 00:42:25,508 All week, I have so Been craving birthday cake. 745 00:42:25,577 --> 00:42:29,112 All week, And I missed it. 746 00:42:32,216 --> 00:42:33,650 Not necessarily. 747 00:42:33,718 --> 00:42:34,917 What are you doing? 748 00:42:36,187 --> 00:42:38,121 I'm making you A birthday cake. 749 00:42:40,591 --> 00:42:42,524 I stopped back By your place, 750 00:42:42,594 --> 00:42:44,694 But you guys weren't there, So I grabbed those. 751 00:42:46,130 --> 00:42:48,064 It's five to midnight. 752 00:42:48,132 --> 00:42:51,701 Gotta blow out the candles Before your birthday is over. 753 00:42:53,437 --> 00:42:55,371 You know what's so funny Is before this thing started, 754 00:42:55,439 --> 00:43:00,042 All I wanted for my birthday Was to be with the two of you. 755 00:43:00,111 --> 00:43:01,878 Make your wish, carm. 756 00:43:07,485 --> 00:43:09,485 [both laugh] 757 00:43:09,553 --> 00:43:12,221 Oh, gross. 758 00:43:13,825 --> 00:43:15,491 Thanks. 759 00:43:27,672 --> 00:43:31,274 ♪ to bend and not to break ♪ 760 00:43:31,342 --> 00:43:35,111 ♪ chin up, try not to quake ♪ 761 00:43:35,179 --> 00:43:38,680 ♪ I'm grinning on the outside ♪ 762 00:43:38,749 --> 00:43:42,551 ♪ but I'm a wreck internally ♪ 763 00:43:44,622 --> 00:43:46,989 ♪ ooh, la la la la ♪ 764 00:43:47,058 --> 00:43:56,298 ♪ ooh, la la la la ♪